ogawa's Diaryland Diary

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I'm with you

I�m always crying.
So afraid of losing him, so scared.
I don�t want something to happen.
I want to lie in bed with him until forever, just lay there and count his heartbeats.
I don�t want to deal with life.
Everyday bullshit, answering the phone, taking meds, eating, putting clothes on�
I don�t want to do that!
I just want to be with him, all the time.
It�s what I�ve always wanted, I just forgot and he forgot too and we did stupid things to avoid each other.
We have been together for 12 years now, married for almost 10.
I love this man, I�ve loved him for so long.
I can�t even write about it without getting emotional.
I remember it all, all the fights, all the yelling, the cops showing up, you name it.
I want to forget all that shit!
I just want the pleasant memories.
Just the pleasant.
I love you�please never forget how much I love you despite what V says.
Please do not believe his lies, N, I love you.
He is a liar.

3:47 p.m. - 2013-03-12

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